An update
It's been a few weeks since I last blogged. I flew back to Columbus on September 22 to begin packing my apartment and do all those activities in which one engages to launch that most common and traumatic of life changes: MOVING.
In time since my last post, I have closed out my apartment lease (and paid a nearly $900 early termination fee), gotten sick, gotten rid of about half (by cubic feet) of my worldly possessions, packed what remained, had my car repaired four times, said my final goodbyes to friends and colleagues, rented and loaded a truck, and moved back to Louisville on October 12.
The four people you meet when you move
I was fortunate to have four key people during all this. First, a friend who was kind enough to keep me mobile during all the car repairs. Next, a strong young man who was willing to earn a little money to help me load my truck; we got 90% of my stuff loaded in less than two hours.
Third, I have a best friend who flew down late on a Thursday night and was up hours before dawn on Friday to drive my truck back to Louisville with me following in the now-healed car. I was exhausted. I was bruised. I needed to get the moving trauma behind me so I could get to an uncertain future. I wasn't at my best. They say you always hurt the ones you love and I'm ashamed to say that may well describe me. I snapped. I fussed. I yelled. I groused and grumbled. I was just plain bitchy and a good bit of it was aimed unfairly, but squarely, at him. I know there were times I hurt his feelings, but at the same time he seemed to understand and let it roll off him. A simple apology doesn't seem to be sufficient, but I know him and he understands.
Finally, I have the eventually-to-be-ex who is letting me crash at her place. She took care of me this weekend. Fed me. Tried to entertain me. Encouraged me. Described bright, cheery scenarios for my future. She's provided me a safe harbor in which to anchor during the storm. I'm grateful.
They say you never know...
My aforementioned best friend has a well connected boss who has unexpectedly reached out to me to offer his assistance to help me do some networking. This has blown me away. He and I met once briefly at lunch almost a year ago and that he has picked up my falling banner to lead a charge against my unemployment has humbled and heartened me. I feel a sense of hope that I haven't experienced in a long time. They say you never know who is looking out for you or from where your next job may come. Never has this been more true than what I'm experiencing now.
The closing and opening metaphor...and other cliches
So many people have said the same thing to me: "You've closed this chapter and you're ready to open a new one." Others have said, "One door closed, so another will open for you." Seems to be an open and shut case, no? In the grand scheme of things, I know they're right. After all, this isn't my first trip down this road. But, I'm still not ready for the flood of sunshine. I don't know when I will be. I just know it isn't right now.
At the same time, I am relieved that I have folks in my life who give a damn. I have folks who don't know what to say but they reach out and say something anyway. I have folks who put their arms around me and tell me that it is going to be okay. I, of course, know it will be okay, but it is still good to hear it from others. These folks, I think have a more objective perspective than I right now.
So, I am ready to start on that new chapter. I have great ideas. It's going to be a comedy-adventure this time, rather than a horror-scifi. But, as a writer, I can tell you, composing the end of any piece is often the most difficult part of writing. One agonizes over it because it has to be satisfying to the writer and to the reader. I'm still at that point where I've written the final lines, but I haven't turned the page quite yet. I am on the cusp of writing those first new lines, but I'm still not finished trying to take in the last lines I just wrote.
